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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995155">summertime blues</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupitersuns/pseuds/jupitersuns'>jupitersuns</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Background Relationships, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Summer Vacation, Underage Drinking, its really only there if you squint but</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:01:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupitersuns/pseuds/jupitersuns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(They’re sitting on the curb outside a frozen dessert place, and Donghyuck is sick with something like love and the summer sun, but he is almost certain he can feel Mark drawing his features in his mind.</p>
<p>The other boy reaches out with a thumb to catch the cherry red flavoring melting down Donghyuck’s chin, and without a second thought, he puts that same digit into his mouth, tongue darting out to lick at the sticky sweetness. </p>
<p>Donghyuck’s stomach does a dangerous flip. “What did you do that for?”)</p>
<p>Alternatively,</p>
<p>Donghyuck spends his summer crushing on Mark Lee.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan &amp; Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>summertime blues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wow! my first markhyuck fic and i finished it in three days with no planning whatsoever! this is a bit different from my usual writing style, but i don’t think i’ve written enough to...have one?</p>
<p>a lot of this is just me missing warm weather and slipping in references to things i like + donghyuck agonizing about kissing mark stupid.</p>
<p>please enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mark is new in town.</p>
<p>He has dark hair and skin too pale for the beginning of summer, and the first time Donghyuck sees him it feels like his world is changing. Mark comes up for air in the pool, and Donghyuck can only watch with his heart stuttering in his chest as Mark shakes water out of his hair and his ears. </p>
<p>Donghyuck would have been content to ogle at him with no further contact, but Mark swims over to where he’s sitting with a book open in his lap and asks him if he wants to play water volleyball. The team is two short people, and Mark thinks he can cover it if Donghyuck decides to join. Donghyuck is terrible at sports, but he takes one look at the wet slope of his lashes and says yes. </p>
<p>They fall into each other easily. Mark grows on him quickly and tans even quicker. By the middle of the summer he is miles of sun kissed skin under a bright blue shirt. The silver cross on his neck twists as he comes down from a handstand, and Donghyuck applauds it good-naturedly. “You’re totally just showing off now.” he says. Mark gasps, scandalized. “You asked me to!” Donghyuck had. It’s not his fault that Mark is a pleaser though. Donghyuck finds it’s quite easy to get him to do anything at all if he asks nicely enough. “Hey Mark, do a handstand.” “Hey Mark. Sing that song you like.” “Mark, come over and do nothing with me?” <i>Mark. Mark. Mark.<i> The name is sticky and sweet like mangoes on his tongue. </i></i></p>
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<p>They spend a lot of their time doing nothing in particular; talking about nothing at all. There’s a lot to not do when it’s the dead of summer and it’s too hot to move too much. Mark settles down next to him in the shade of the tree and lets out a groan. “It feels like a microwave.” he groans. His baseball cap falls off his head when he knocks it against Donghyuck’s shoulder, and the other boy is far too pleased to run a hand through the sweaty strands and slide it back on for him.</p>
<p>It’s just the two of them on a sweltering afternoon that is similar to all the ones before it. They had gotten bored of the selections on Netflix and had come out to the woods to kick shit around and hopefully find something to do.</p>
<p>(Well, the full story is they’d gotten bored of Netflix and had proceeded to bother Donghyuck’s mom for long enough that she’d booted them out of the house and into the harsh suburban terrain.) </p>
<p>It feels like the whole world is quiet here. The creek water moving over the stones. Quiet. The birds in the trees. Quiet. The ladybug on his knee. Quiet. “At least it’s not humid.” Donghyuck says, and the cool breeze that fans over them agrees.  The air smells like laundry soap and fresh mown grass. He closes his eyes and feels it ruffle his hair and caress his sweat slick skin. Mark lets out a sigh of relief next to him.



</p>
<p>“Donghyuck, dude. You’re kinda pretty.” </p>
<p>It’s so unbidden that it feels like a critical hit to the gut. Donghyuck turns on him with a bemused look. “What?” he asks. “Just now, when the wind blew through your hair? It was all like <i>whoosh<i>. You looked like a character in a Ghibli movie.”</i></i></p>
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<p>“Uh, thanks.”</p>
<p>“No problem. What are your thoughts on Howl's Moving Castle?”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark plays guitar.</p>
<p>He’s still new at it, so he laughs and places a nervous hand over the back of his neck when Donghyuck asks if he can see. Mark shows him anyway, with careful fingers across the strings and a sweet melody on his tongue that is so appropriate for the gentle pitter patter of rain outside. He’s getting better at this, at blending into the season. His singing voice reminds Donghyuck of honey settling at the bottom of his cup, of the gentle crackle of a bonfire, of fireflies blinking on and off on a quiet evening. It's best explained as a feeling of calm familiarity; the kind of voice that makes you feel safe. Cared for. </p>
<p>“Jeez, Donghyuck.’’ he stammers, “You should get into writing or something. I think you'd be good at it.” </p>
<p>When Mark says his name, it feels like he’s turning up the voltage in Donghyuck's brain. All that with just those two syllables on his tongue. How can someone saying your name feel like this? </p>
<p>“Bullshit, I totally flunked AP English last year.” Donghyuck replies. A poet is only as good as their muse, and Mark is a beauty to be reckoned with.</p>
<p>Donghyuck wishes he could put it into words. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they exchange gazes, it is far more powerful than any words they have ever said. Mark looks at him like can’t look away.

 They’re sitting in the shade right outside a frozen dessert place, and Donghyuck is sick with something like love and the summer sun, but he is almost certain he can feel Mark drawing his features in his mind. 

He feels Mark sweep his eyes over the curve of his nose, feels him connect the constellation of moles on his cheek, feels him trace over his lips with shrouded desire.</p>
<p> The other boy reaches out with a thumb to catch the cherry red flavoring melting down Donghyuck’s chin, and without a second thought, he puts that same digit into his mouth, tongue darting out to lick at the sticky sweetness. Donghyuck’s stomach does a dangerous flip. “What did you do that for?” he gasps.</p>
<p> He wishes he hadn't spoken. The words come out sounding like he’d gotten all the air punched out of his lungs.</p>
<p>The other boy ignores the question, mumbling something about Donghyuck being a messy eater, and then: “Did you want to try mine?” he asks. He eagerly thrusts the blue raspberry popsicle towards Donghyuck’s face.

 Donghyuck has a vision.</p>
<p> <i>He leans in to meet Mark in a sweet embrace. The red and blue dye coloring their tongues mesh together for long enough that they both turn purple.The cold treat lies forgotten on the pavement. Mark is kissing him back like he is oxygen.<i></i></i></p>
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<p>He swallows and shakes his head of delusion. “Uh, dude. Are you okay?” Mark frowns. His hand still hovers between them. Donghyuck rolls his eyes and swaps popsicles with him. “Just ask next time, freak.” </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Summer showers are a welcome relief from the otherwise unforgiving sun. Donghyuck sits on the windowsill in Mark’s room and eyes the raindrops as they slide down the windowpane, lost in a daydream while he rests his head on the cool glass. Mark is somewhere on the bed adjacent with his nose buried in yet another superhero comic, and the ambience is comfortable. </p>
<p>Usually, they lie on his bedroom floor and listen to Frank Ocean. A few weeks into their friendship Mark had tasked Donghyuck with listening to Frank’s entire discography, and Donghyuck had obliged just so they’d have more things to talk about. (In the process he ends up getting emotionally attached to a song called Pink + White, and it doesn't have to be an act anymore.)</p>
<p>Blonde is an album that is almost constantly playing in the refuge of Mark’s room. The space itself is a perpetual mess. It's a calming blue that Mark had proudly painted himself, but he has so much <i>stuff.<i> There are posters and CD’s and track medals and a guitar stand and spare blankets folded neatly in one corner of the room. It's an organized chaos. Donghyuck particularly likes the fairy lights curled around Mark’s bedposts and the Teletubbie shaped alarm clock that he simply couldn’t resist commenting on the first time he’d been in here. </i></i></p>
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  <i>“What are you? 12?” <i></i></i>
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  <i>“Actually, my mom got it for my 13th birthday! It still works, too.”<i></i></i>
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<p>That’s Mark summed up: seemingly random memorabilia and pretty shades of blue and Blonde in the background of his brain.</p>
<p>The rain stops eventually, but Donghyuck can’t be bothered to bike home this early in the day, so they lie side by side on the carpet and stare at the ceiling. </p>
<p>“Would you rather have superpowers or be a goldfish?”</p>
<p>“That's such a—who would want to be a goldfish?” Donghyuck sputters. </p>
<p>Mark shrugs. </p>
<p>“I’d take it...they seem so happy. It's a mindless existence.”</p>
<p>“I take full offense to that. My great-grandfather was a goldfish.”</p>
<p>Mark lets a bright peal of laughter, eyes closed tight as he rolls over dramatically on the carpet. Donghyuck has to bite his lip to stop the self-satisfied smirk from spreading and giving him away. When Mark can breathe he gives him an earnest look. 

“You’re something else. Seriously though, what superpower would you pick?”

 That’s easy. 

Donghyuck would like the ability to control time. He’d like to slow down the changing of the seasons; to make all his favorite memories last longer. Mark thinks that’s pretty cool. He goes off on a tangent about Doctor Strange before catching himself and laughing it off. He doesn’t know that Donghyuck likes him best when he’s talking about his passions like this. </p>
<p> “Okay,” Mark starts. His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip. Pink on pink. Donghyuck wants to taste it. “Your turn.”</p>
<p> It takes Donghyuck a second to remember what they’re doing.

 “Why’d you move out here?” He asks. It's such an awkward time—starting a new high school right before senior year. “Booooooring.” Mark teases. He tosses up the plushie in his arms before speaking again. “To make a long story short: My parents got divorced. Dad has moved us out here because he needed a change of scenery. He said he couldn't take running into my mom at the grocery store and at PTA meetings; didn’t need to be reminded that she was starting a new shiny life without him.” </p>
<p>Mark frowns at the ceiling. Donghyuck and his big fat mouth. </p>
<p>“I know that can be really hard. Were you and your mom close?” “Yeah. I mean, we still are. We talk on the phone a lot, but it’s not the same.” he says. As unfortunate  as the circumstances are, this neighborhood  is a good place for new beginnings, Donghyuck thinks. It’s so normal. Boring, almost. The houses all look the same and the people are kind if not a little nosy. The perfect place to start a new slate. </p>
<p>The silence is a bit daunting. He reaches out a pinky to hook around Mark’s. “I ruined the mood.” Donghyuck says gravely. Mark giggles at that. “It's okay. I don't mind talking about stuff like that with you.” </p>
<p>God. He wishes Mark would stop talking like that. </p>
<p>“I’m curious Donghyuck, what kind of girls are you into?” That question makes his heart pick up for a different reason. He takes a deep breath.</p>
<p> “I’m really not that into....girls.” </p>
<p>Mark doesn't miss a beat. “That’s cool too. What kind of people then, I guess.”</p>
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  <i>Boys who play guitar and talk a lot and have a mole on the left side of their cheek and have all the stars in their eyes and</i>
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<p>“Oh you know...just boys who can make me laugh.” </p>
<p>“You wanna date a clown?”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark says Donghyuck has the best laughter he’s ever heard. One afternoon when they’re wasting time on their skateboards, Mark admits that he says dumb stuff sometimes just to see him laugh and throw an incredulous look his way. 

It doesn’t matter if Donghyuck is laughing at him or with him. It is enough just to hear his tinkling laughter dance across the summer breeze and across his skin.

 He’s good with words like that, good at making Donghyuck feel like he’s a being to be admired and decoded. </p>
<p>The sentiment extends past their little bubble as well. Mark is concerningly nice to everyone, so it's not a huge surprise when he starts making friends with people outside the DDT. (Donghyuck Designated Three, aka Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin).</p>
<p>Donghyuck doesn't even know Mark has met Yerim until they’re skating past her house and she calls out their names from the front yard. She strolls up to them with a wide smile on her face, leans on the white picket fence and tucks a strand of bright pink hair behind her ear. When she says Mark's name it’s with a flirty giggle, and Donghyuck can only watch in awe as she works.

</p>
<p> “I didn’t know you could skate. Teach me?” she’s saying. Her eyes sweep shamelessly over the broadness of Mark's chest, but he’s oblivious to it. “Yeah I could teach you. It’s all about balance...”  Donghyuck zones out of the conversation, quickly realizing that they’re doing that thing where they’re not talking about anything. </p>
<p>“You should come over and hang sometimes. You too, Hyuck.” Yerim says finally, and Donghyuck gives her a stiff smile. “Sure.”</p>
<p>As if. </p>
<p>It’s not that Donghyuck doesn't like Yerim—because they’ve been friends since the third grade and had once raised a caterpillar together. (It had died four hours in, but still.) It’s just that she’s been so different since she joined the cheerleading team and stopped giving him the time of day.

 The request seems genuine enough, and Donghyuck has really missed her, so he clears his throat and tries again. “If I don’t die of excitement I am never showing up to anything again.” </p>
<p>Yerim’s mouth stretches into a sly grin. “Oh please Hyuck, this is me we’re talking about.”</p>
<p>As Mark continues to fall into this chain reaction of friend-making, Donghyuck thinks he’ll get left behind, but that’s not the case. Mark kind of drags him everywhere. Donghyuck ends up practically living beside the pool with people he usually wouldn't spare a glance at during the school year. When Donghyuck grows too quiet during conversations, Mark looks for him with a kind reassuring smile and fingers around his wrist. Donghyuck thinks he could survive a dip in the River Styx if Mark were on the shore to anchor him. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>One night when the moon hangs bright in the sky, Donghyuck has his first beer. The frothy brown liquid in his cup is disgusting, but he likes the way it makes his words thunder past his lips easier, likes the way everyone at the party keeps laughing at his jokes and saying “You should hang out more!” Yerim was right, he's having a great time.</p>
<p>Mark’s eyes haven't left him all night. </p>
<p>Donghyuck is sweaty from the alcohol coursing through his system and the humid summer evening, and now he has to worry about Mark raking his gaze over his neck and the bare expanse of his thigh. Donghyuck stares back too, at the smooth sliver of skin where Mark's shirt has ridden up, at the slender fingers around the drink in his hand. Mark’s pupils are dark and swimming with enough wild emotion to make a familiar heat pool at the bottom of Donghyuck’s stomach. It's like they’re kissing each other with their eyes, from across the room.</p>
<p>Yerim forces everyone out of the front door at 11pm sharp, complaining about having to hide the evidence before her parents get home.</p>
<p>Mark and Donghyuck take a shortcut through the woods to get home faster, talking animatedly the whole time, and it’s half playful half drunk when Mark puts his hands on Donghyuck’s waist and backs him up against a tree.</p>
<p>Donghyuck can’t remember what they were talking about.</p>
<p>Mark smells like watermelon shampoo and sweat mixed with the sharp scent of his cologne. His hands are cool on Donghyuck’s skin, and he’s so. so. close. </p>
<p>“Hey.” Mark giggles. His breath carries something sweet. “Hi.” Donghyuck says back. He slides his hand up Mark’s arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. Their proximity is killing him, but Mark closes the gap first. He tilts his head just so, eyes half-lidded and wanting, and presses wet lips to Donghyuck’s own.</p>
<p>When Mark kisses him, Donghyuck thinks of dying: Of all his neurons going off at once and flooding his brain with so much sensation that he only understands it as white. It's like that, the pressure of Mark’s lips moving against his.</p>
<p>It’s almost too perfect, too much.</p>
<p>When Mark bites down gently on Donghyuck’s bottom lip, it's like he presses a palm to his soul and changes its colors—ups the vibrancy a bit. He kisses him like he means it, smears strawberry chapstick over his lips and slides a warm tongue into his mouth, whimpering when Donghyuck cups a hand around his nape to pull him closer. Donghyuck doesn’t have much to compare it to, but there is no way a simple kiss should feel this world ending.</p>
<p>It writes a new purpose for his features. Eyes to see, nose to smell, mouth to kiss Mark Lee.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Johnny is exactly 5 years older than Donghyuck, but you wouldn’t really be able to tell if you saw the way he jumps up and down at the news that his little brother is head over heels for some guy he didn’t know the existence of until ten minutes ago.</p>
<p> Donghyuck is doing a bad job of hiding his hangover.</p>
<p>He frowns into his cornflakes while Johnny sings, “Mark and Donghyuck sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” He really is a menace to society. Donghyuck hasn’t even mentioned the kiss to anyone, unsure of whether Mark would be comfortable with that, but somehow Johnny has managed to get close to the actual event. </p>
<p>Their dad pokes a head into the living room and asks them to calm it down a bit, muttering something about not being able to hear himself think so early in the morning.</p>
<p> Donghyuck knows Johnny is all excited because he had met his current boyfriend—Ten Lee—at around the same age. They’ve been each other’s better half for so long, Donghyuck thinks they’re probably going to get married. 

It’s an adorable idea, the thought of him and Mark being in some epic love story on their way to forever, but he thinks back to the conversation they’d had in Mark’s bedroom on that rainy day, and he doubts his story will be all that simple. Mark isn't even into boys like that.</p>
<p>Johnny settles down in front of him with a terrible green smoothie. Their mom insists on keeping the house caffeine free, and he’s been downing these like it’s nothing since he’s been home. Apparently, nature’s true stimulant is green apples, kale and coconut water. </p>
<p> “I’m not in love with him. It was just one kiss.” Donghyuck says. </p>
<p>“So there <i>was<i> a kiss?”</i></i></p>
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<p>“No.” <i>Fuck.</i></p>
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<p>“Could’ve fooled me. You’re a terrible liar, you know.” </p>
<p>“Am not.” </p>
<p>“You are! When you’re lying about your feelings you get all choked up,” Johnny takes a sip of his concoction. “Like that one time you swore you didn’t care about me eating the last pop tart but went on a hunger strike for three days.”</p>
<p>“It was brown sugar cinnamon and I was like 10.” </p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Mark forgets the kiss. Or at least, he makes Donghyuck think he does. He doesn’t talk about it and Donghyuck doesn’t ask for fear of shattering the wall that Mark is carefully constructing these days. </p>
<p>These days, Donghyuck can’t really tell what’s on his mind. Even when they make eye contact, it feels exactly like Mark is looking through him instead of at him like he used to. </p>
<p>When they're with everyone, nothing changes. Mark finds any and every excuse to touch him. An arm around his shoulder, fingers tugging affectionately on his ear, legs crossed together, shoulders brushing, the ghost of knuckles across his cheek. He wonders if every time they touch it feels as damning for Mark as it does for him, if he too feels like he’s being struck by lightning every time they brush their fingers together.</p>
<p>Donghyuck concludes that the public affection is for show, because when they’re all messing around by the pool it’s easy to get lost in the noise of their steadily growing friend group, but when they’re alone it’s too intimate. Too real. Mark doesn’t even let him rest his head on his shoulder when they binge watch shows anymore. They leave several inches of space between them, Mark's reasoning being that it’s too hot to do anything of the sort. </p>
<p>(It’s not.)</p>
<p>(The air conditioning is always coldest in Mark’s bedroom.)  </p>
<p>Eventually, they can't spend time together without Jeno or someone else acting as a buffer.</p>
<p>Donghyuck thinks they should talk about it soon.</p>
<p>They lay on the trampoline in Jaemin’s backyard and stare up at the stars, and Mark weeps. They’re not physical tears, but Donghyuck swears he can feel Mark’s heart ache from here.  He doesn’t know what is happening with them or why, and Mark is snappy and dismissive whenever he tries to bring it up. The wall he has been working on seems to be nearing completion. Donghyuck is left standing on the other side of it, begging for it to give, so they can go back to kissing—if only with their eyes—and to the way things were before he knew what Mark tasted like.</p>
<p>There are many greek myths Donghyuck's grandmother used to tell him before she passed, by lantern light and over bent knee. Lately he thinks about the River Lethe, where souls of the dead drank in order to forget their earthly lives. He wishes he could find that sort of solace for them both. He'd focus on one memory. The night of their first kiss, and he’d wipe it all clean with no remorse. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Jeno gets his own car first. </p>
<p>It’s just a soccer mom style minivan, but it grants them immeasurable powers like late night trips to the ramen restaurant just outside of town and a place to sit and argue about how terrible the songs on the radio have gotten. On a bright day such as this one, Jeno is the one who volunteers to shoulder the two hour drive to the beach. </p>
<p>Renjun, being seventeen and already far too cynical, makes a joke about gay people not knowing how to drive that stings a little because Donghyuck had properly failed his test around this time last year. </p>
<p>Renjun’s boyfriend and self-appointed defense attorney Jaemin Na backs him up immediately, saying they’d be lucky to get their licenses by twenty one, before tacking on a <i>Jeno please don’t kill us<i> for good measure, like Jeno hasn’t been acting as their personal Uber lately. Mark looks unsure of whether he should be laughing or not. Donghyuck stifles a giggle at his constipated expression in the rear view mirror. Mark looks up locks eyes with him, and for a moment Donghyuck feels his insides flutter. He's still so terribly gone, and for a straight boy no less. </i></i></p>
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<p>Once faced with the beautiful expanse of the sea side, Mark, Jaemin and Renjun don’t hesitate to run into the surf. Donghyuck sits under their umbrella a distance away and guards their stuff even though it’s just them on this side of the beach. Jeno keeps him company, or tries to, because while he’s sitting next to him on the blanket his eyes are glued to his phone screen, busy with what appears to be a pretty intense racing game.</p>
<p> Donghyuck craves attention almost as much as most plants crave sunlight, so he proceeds to whine about how mean Jeno is being. The boy doesn't even budge. “In a minute.” he says. Donghyuck makes a quick grab for the phone in his hands and Jeno pulls back with lightning fast reflexes. Donghyuck gets caught up in the passion of it, clambering over him and plucking it out of his fingers before a wave of realization hits him.</p>
<p>He knows what it looks like. He's in Jeno’s lap, and when Jeno sits up, their noses brush. Donghyuck lowers the phone in his left hand and opens his mouth to speak, but then Jeno is doing the impossible. He’s brushing Donghyuck’s bangs out of his face and kissing him. A real kiss. Right on the mouth. </p>
<p>Donghyuck’s eyes are open, so he can see the dark ink of Jeno’s lashes against his pale cheeks. He’s really kissing him! Why?</p>
<p>Jeno is strong arms and knowing smiles and SPF 50 sunscreen. He’s easily one of Donghyuck’s best friends, the perfect start to a really good love story, but when he kisses him, Donghyuck doesn’t feel anything different. It’s a meeting of flesh and nothing more. He thinks for a moment that if Jeno had tried this a summer ago he would’ve mistaken the nerves in his stomach for romantic affliction and they’d be together. Maybe.</p>
<p>As things are, Donghyuck has been effectively captured by Mark. It’s a total eclipse of the heart, like he can’t imagine ever kissing anyone else. He pulls away first and avoids Jeno’s eyes. He mumbles an apology too, something along the lines of: “I’m sorry” and “I don’t feel the same.” Jeno’s mouth is set in a line like he had seen this coming. Donghyuck pushes his phone into his hands and climbs out of his lap, casting a frantic glance to the crashing waves where his friends are none the wiser. Jaemin is taking selfies while Renjun is attempting to climb onto Mark’s back. </p>
<p>Jeno lets out a nervous laugh. “Totally read that wrong didn't I?” Donghyuck doesn't know what to say. </p>
<p>Jeno’s heart is in his hands, dripping red all over the loose white sand. He doesn't know how they got here.</p>
<p>“It’s Mark, isn’t it?”</p>
<p> “Maybe. I don’t know. Yeah.”</p>
<p>“You know he can’t even admit to himself that he’s into guys? You’ll be waiting an eternity.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> “I heard him talking to Jaemin about it, asking him how he knew he was bi or whatever.”</p>
<p> “Okay.”</p>
<p> “I don’t know what you see in him, honestly.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck knows Jeno is only saying it because he’s hurt, but he still feels offended on Mark’s behalf. “Don't talk like that.” It's not healthy, the way Donghyuck’s summer has turned into holding his breath and waiting for a boy to cast him a glance that he can overanalyze and hang on to for dear life.</p>
<p>“Isn’t it my business who I spend time thinking about?” he says, annoyed. Jeno scoffs and looks up into the dark blue beach umbrella like it will give him answers. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Donghyuck.” he says softly. It’s a stark contrast to the angry set of his jaw, but Donghyuck sees all too clearly the sincerity of it. </p>
<p>Jeno is simply looking out for him, but that doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow.</p>
<p>“Just mind your business Jeno, not everyone needs rescuing all the time.” </p>
<p>“Thanks. I’ll remember that next time you force me to play mediator with you and Mark. ”</p>
<p>Jeno gets up and heads back to the car, throwing up some excuse about forgetting his goggles, and Donghyuck feels like his life is falling apart.</p>
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<p>Renjun has a deliberately terrible taste in movies. He seeks bad films out on purpose, aiming to be well versed in the art of stiff acting and horrid lighting. Tonight he’s making everyone watch some poorly reviewed horror film that he found on Letterboxd. He’d invited Donghyuck over without the prior warning that Mark and Jeno would be there, and when Donghyuck arrives he’s a little frayed to see the two of them exchanging pleasantries with Jaemin and his cousin Jisung. </p>
<p>It's been weeks since the beach, weeks since Donghyuck and Jeno have seen eye to eye.</p>
<p>By some miracle, (the lack of furniture in Renjun’s basement) Mark is sitting next to him on the loveseat. It is dark save for the light of the TV, and their bare thighs are pressed together. Donghyuck is hyper aware of Mark shifting next to him. He fights the urge to reach over and run a hand over the toned muscle of the other boy’s thigh by keeping his hands on his own knees and his heart in a box several feet underground. </p>
<p>Slowly but surely, Mark's fingers reach over to his and carefully intertwine. It's a surprise, and Donghyuck looks over expectantly at Mark, but his face betrays nothing, eyes trained to the screen where the main girl narrowly escapes a masked killer. Mark laces their fingers together and pulls their hands back so that they sit at the hem of Donghyuck’s shorts, low enough to still be innocent, but high enough that it makes Donghyuck’s heart race. They stay like that for the rest of the movie, holding hands in Donghyuck’s lap, and even when Renjun's voice cuts through the noise to ask if they should finish the trilogy tonight, Mark doesn’t pull away. </p>
<p> Donghyuck feels braver then. </p>
<p>While his friends are focused on the movie, he tilts his head to the right and presses a light kiss to the spot underneath Mark’s ear. He hears his breath hitch. It's legitimately too hot to be this close, but Donghyuck is taking what he can get. <i>I like you.<i> He thinks urgently.

<i>You don't have to like me back, you just have to know that I do, so that I can still be me, and you can be you.</i></i></i></p>
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<p>Mark stands up suddenly, announcing that he’s going to the bathroom, and when he comes back he settles down next to Jeno on the floor. Jisung sits down in the space Mark left, and just like that, they’re back to square one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Donghyuck has terrible luck and a rocky sense of self-preservation, so when his skateboard snaps in half one sticky evening, he can only swear as his knee and chin get wrecked in the middle of the street. </p>
<p>The embarrassment of everyone crowding around him stings more than anything, honestly. </p>
<p>Mark sits him on the kitchen counter and plays doctor, wiping at the wounds and scolding Donghyuck for being stupid enough to try that trick.</p>
<p> There are a multitude of questions that Donghyuck wants to ask, like: what changed for him and why has he been so different lately and does he know that he’s lit a fire in Donghyuck that he can’t put out no matter how hard he tries? Rough fingertips slowly tilt his head this way and that, searching for any minor scrapes.</p>
<p>Their faces are so close together.</p>
<p>Marks breath fans over his cheek, and Donghyuck calculates the distance it would take to kiss him again. Two centimeters and all the courage in the world, he decides. That’s what it would take. </p>
<p>“What’s been going on with you and Jeno, anyway?” Mark murmurs. 

He’s probably referring to how Donghyuck had frowned and slapped Jeno away when the other boy had tried to help him up. 

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<p>Stupid Jeno with unbridled compassion engraved in his very bones. Even when they’re fighting, Jeno can’t help it. Donghyuck wishes he were that good. </p>
<p> “It’s nothing.”</p>
<p>“Alright.” he presses the alcohol soaked cotton ball harsher than necessary into the wound and makes Donghyuck wince and grab his wrist. “I’m sorry. I think you guys are being stupid.” Mark says quietly. His gaze lingers on Donghyuck's mouth when he says it, distracted. Do it. Kiss me. Donghyuck thinks. He lets his eyes flutter shut, lips parted in anticipation, when—</p>
<p>Mark's father walks into the kitchen, and Mark pulls back like he’s been burned. His father doesn’t say anything. He looks between them with an expression Donghyuck doesn’t know how to read yet. Mark translates it easily. He tenses, his eyes go glassy, and Donghyuck finally, finally understands. </p>
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  <i>You know he can’t even admit to himself that he’s into guys? <i></i></i>
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<p>He hands Donghyuck the band-aid and turns almost robotically to the open first aid kit on the counter. “I-I’m gonna go put the kit away, I'll be right back,” he says. his hands are shaky as he places the loose materials back in and tucks the box around his arm. His father watches him exit the room, and tilts his head at Donghyuck.</p>
<p> “Hey. I remember you. You’re that Donghyuck kid, right?”</p>
<p> Mr. Lee is a literature professor who usually spends all day holed up in his study, so Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s ever gotten to properly introduce himself outside of the casual hello and goodbye. To the older man, he’s probably just one of the group of friends Mark has been bringing over. Donghyuck swallows and nods. “Mark talks about you a lot. Keep him out of trouble for me, will you?” Donghyuck lets out a small laugh and points to the bandage on his knee. “I’m afraid he’s the one doing that for me, but I’ll try my best.” </p>
<p>The man in front of him gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.” he says.</p>
<p>Mark walks him home right before the sun sets, a golden glow casting long shadows on the pavement as they go. He's still trying to play counselor, much to the dismay of Donghyuck, who would much rather talk about them instead. </p>
<p>“Promise me you’ll make up with Jeno?” Mark is saying. </p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>“Really, Donghyuck, it’s been so awkward hanging out when you guys refuse to talk to each other. I like you both a lot, you know?”</p>
<p>“If you like me so much, why won’t you tell me what I did wrong?”</p>
<p>“What? This again? You didn’t do-“</p>
<p>“Come on, Mark. Why did you kiss me and push me six thousand miles away?” It's the first time Donghyuck has said it aloud. </p>
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<p>Not <i>why are you being so weird<i> or <i>don't you think we should talk about the thing<i>? They <i>kissed<i>. Why won't Mark look at him?</i></i></i></i></i></i></p>
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<p>They stop walking. </p>
<p>“I-I don't know. I’ve been thinking about it, and I just don’t know.” He sounds genuinely distressed, so Donghyuck takes pity on him. “I don’t care if you hated it, Mark. I just want you to stop pushing me away; I just want my friend back.” “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, Hyuck. This is all just new to me. I’ve never...done that with a guy.” His mouth opens and closes like he wants to say something else but can’t find the words. Donghyuck tries to make it simpler for him. </p>
<p>“If you could go back to that night, would you still choose to kiss me?” </p>
<p>The right answer is no, because Donghyuck can handle everything being a fluke. He can handle Mark’s blatant rejection. He has to. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Mark says. He seems more sure now. “One hundred percent. I don’t regret that it was you.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck refuses to hear it.</p>
<p>“I wouldn't kiss you.” He says. He doesn’t even choke on the lie, which is a first. Johnny would be proud of him.</p>
<p> (Probably not, considering the circumstances.) </p>
<p>Mark’s expression is encrypted. Donghyuck can’t look at him for too long or he'll crumble into little pieces and blow away in the wind. He wants to take it back, but he’d decided earlier in the kitchen that if Mark wasn’t going to burn this string between them and save Donghyuck the heartache, then he would do it himself. He's taking care of them both. “I wouldn't,” he repeats. “So stop worrying about it, okay?”</p>
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<p>Donghyuck keeps his face in the icebox. His eyes are a little puffy from crying, and he’d like to remedy that before his family gets home and starts asking him questions he can’t answer.</p>
<p>He’s pushing Mark away because he can’t take the back and forth, can’t take the not knowing. Even if Mark had some epiphany and decided that he <i>is<i> into kissing boys in his free time, there’s no way Mark feels as strongly as he does. No way that he would willingly choose Donghyuck. No way they could be together. </i></i></p>
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<p>Mark Lee, with his colorful laughter and his crooked nose and his bright round eyes and his hands on Donghyuck’s skin, burning him up from the outside in. Mark Lee, with his sweet words and his voice feather soft in Donghyuck’s ear. </p>
<p>He feels sick. </p>
<p>He’d essentially just told Mark that he’d wanted to be friends again, so why does it feel like they broke up? He scoffs to himself at the absurdity of it all. Mark is probably sitting in bed watching video game play-throughs, and Donghyuck has his head in the freezer like a crazy person. He hears a car door slam shut, and the jiggle of keys in the door. He takes a deep breath, in and out, and he puts on his best ‘there is no war in Ba Sing Se’ expression. </p>
<p>Johnny comes in first, balancing too many bags of groceries, and Donghyuck helps him out, takes a few of them and sets them on the island. Johnny gives him a weird look. “You’re being awfully nice today.” he observes. “Turning over a new leaf.” Donghyuck replies. His voice is still a little croaky. </p>
<p>Johnny picks up on that and cups his cheeks, tilting his head up so he can examine him. He frowns for a moment at the band-aid on his chin and at how cold his face feels. His hands are soft, warm. His expression is gentle. Donghyuck closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry again, that would be mortifying. </p>
<p>“Oh, Hyuck. What the fuck did you get into today?” </p>
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<p>Mark is an idiot, but he’s right about one thing, and it’s that Donghyuck can’t keep fighting Jeno when they share so many of the same friends. More than that, they’ve known each other for too long to let something like a crush drive a wedge between them. </p>
<p>Donghyuck has never been good at swallowing his pride and apologizing first, but he and Jeno make up eventually, in their own way. Jeno drives over to Donghyuck’s house and catches him sulking on the porch. He asks, with a hint of shyness, if Donghyuck wants to grab shitty gas station slurpees together, and that’s that. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for being a dick.” Donghyuck says. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry for trying to tell you how to feel.”</p>
<p>“S’okay. It’s not like you were wrong. I just didn’t wanna hear it.”</p>
<p>“I hope it works out for both of you. I kinda miss seeing you all lovesick and pathetic.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck hums in response. Right now, in the very small, very dramatic frame of things, he doesn’t think anything in his love life will ever work out for him again. He looks over at Jeno in the driver's seat and wishes, not for the first time, that he felt something more than platonic adoration. “What about you? Will you be okay?” he asks gingerly. Jeno finishes the rest of his drink with a loud slurp.</p>
<p> “I’ll live. You wanting to stay just friends is not the end of the world.”</p>
<p>“What, just like that?” Donghyuck says, but there’s a fond smile playing at his lips. </p>
<p>“Well yeah. I promised my therapist I’d move on, so.”</p>
<p>“Your therapist knows who I am?”</p>
<p>Jeno nods, not answering Donghyuck’s real question, which is: Does your therapist think I could fight a shark and win? “I left a glowing five star review.” Jeno says, smiling at him like he’d just read his mind. Donghyuck doesn’t doubt it for a second.</p>
<p>“Enough about me though. Where are you with Mark?” </p>
<p>"I told him to stop agonizing over everything."</p>
<p>“But you like him? Like, a lot.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck hangs his head out the window and breathes in the restless summer air. <i>“You think I don’t know that?”<i> What he really says is: “I’ll live.”</i></i></p>
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<p>Mark’s birthday is on the second day of August. There's blueberries on his ice cream cake and a flurry of balloons in his backyard, and everything smells slightly of chlorine and happiness.</p>
<p>Donghyuck sits by himself and looks miserable. </p>
<p>It feels like the whole neighborhood is there, but it's really just their friends and a few kids from the high school that Donghyuck doesn't really care for. </p>
<p>A large splash cuts through his thoughts. He looks over at the other end of the pool, where Mark has come up laughing after a boy dunked his head underwater. It’s eerily similar to Donghyuck’s first impression of him. Wet black hair and a charming smile. </p>
<p>Hyejoo kneels down next to the pool and gestures for Mark to come over. She’s wearing a zebra print bikini and her wet hair is braided down her back. Mark gets out and wraps a wet arm around her waist, pulling her closer and making her squeal something about the temperature difference. He leans down so his ear is right next to her mouth as she whispers something else. He scrunches his nose in awkward laughter at whatever she says. His ears are red.</p>
<p>Is that what he likes? Soft curves and flowing hair and flirty laughter?</p>
<p>Donghyuck can’t really see over the bass of the music or the cacophony of emotion in his brain. </p>
<p>Jaemin swims up to him and laughs at his pitiful state.“You look like you need a drink.” <i>Or a tranquilizer.<i> Donghyuck thinks. He’s been sitting with his feet in the pool nursing the same coke for the better part of an hour. He’d shown up to the pool party in a hoodie and short shorts, hellbent on not having any fun, and his usual buddy in misery Renjun is away at a two week space camp, so Donghyuck has been forced to spread the negativity by himself all afternoon. </i></i></p>
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<p>A familiar silhouette comes up behind him. “I think you need a swim.” they say. Donghyuck doesn’t even process that until it’s too late. </p>
<p>Jeno, as quick and strong as ever, tips him easily into the water below. Donghyuck contemplates staying down and pretending he’s drowned just to make them sorry, but his soaked hoodie is an awkward weight around him now. </p>
<p>“So not cool.” he whines, and Jeno and Jaemin don't do much but laugh and high five each other. Donghyuck is heavy when he climbs up out of the pool. He’s pretty sure one of his ears are clogged as well.

The sun is setting, and he doesn’t really feel up for smelling like chlorine for the next few hours. He’s a little fed up with everyone, and is contemplating just leaving without saying goodbye when the devil himself (Mark) swings an arm around his shoulder and shoots a playful glare at the boys in the pool. “Rule number one was no roughhousing, you little assholes.” he says. “He looked a little hot so we took him for a swim. Don't be so mean Markie.” Jaemin drawls, and Mark rolls his eyes.</p>
<p> “I’m gonna tell Renjun you guys are bullying me. Just so you know, I have him on speed dial.” Donghyuck says.</p>
<p>“There’s no phones allowed at space camp, genius.” Jeno replies. He looks more amused than anything, probably because Donghyuck hasn't been this animated in weeks. </p>
<p>“When he gets back then. You’re both finished.” </p>
<p>“Whatever you say lovebird.” Jaemin says. His eyes are trained on all the points of contact Donghyuck is making with Mark.</p>
<p>Right.</p>
<p>Mark still has his arm around him. “Could you not do that?” he requests, and Mark retreats immediately, cheeks coloring pink in embarrassment. “Uh. sorry,” he stammers. “I’ve got some clothes you can borrow if you want?” </p>
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<p>The air is different when they are alone. It’s been a while since the last time they were his room like this, just the two of them. </p>
<p>Mark’s laugh is lighter when he hands Donghyuck a change of clothes. He sits on the bed and pretends he’s not watching Donghyuck’s back as he changes. When Donghyuck turns around, he doesn't miss the way Mark’s breathing stops and starts again. He shifts nervously, and the slightly oversized shirt slips off of one of his shoulders, golden skin meeting the cool air. Mark is still staring. “Happy Birthday, by the way. I didn’t get to say it before.”  Donghyuck says. </p>
<p>“Oh right, yeah. Thank you, Donghyuck.”</p>
<p>There it is again, that feeling like someone lit a fuse in his brain. </p>
<p>He closes the space between them. The bed dips underneath his weight, and Mark keeps his eyes on him. His gaze is soft. “Mark, I—” <i>I’m sorry. I need you to stop looking at me like that. Let me mourn my love for you in peace.<i> He doesn’t get the chance to say it though, because Mark is close enough to burn, and Donghyuck can’t move. It feels like all his bones turn to honey when Mark reaches over and cups his cheek with one hand, slides a thumb over the moles there. His voice is low when he speaks. “I missed you.”

Me too! Donghyuck thinks, but his voice box is jammed shut. 

Mark forges on. "I’ve been meaning to talk to you. To apologize.” “Yeah?” Donghyuck says dumbly.</i></i></p>
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<p> Mark leans in slowly, like he’s giving Donghyuck time to get away if he wants to, but Donghyuck is still stuck. It happens so slowly, that for a moment he wonders if he’s slowing time down for real. When their mouths connect, it's arguably more magical than the first time. Donghyuck hopes that one day he’ll get used to it. </p>
<p>There are flowers blooming everywhere Mark is touching him. Mark’s palm is warm under his shirt and he tastes like fruit punch, and this time, when he pulls away, he goes right back in for the kill. He kisses Donghyuck again and again until he doesn’t know which way is up or down, till he doesn’t know where Mark ends and he begins.</p>
<p>Donghyuck returns it just as eagerly, weeks of torment gone as Mark licks into his mouth and sighs when Donghyuck runs his fingers through his hair. He slips his hands down and over Mark’s bare shoulders and feels him moan into his mouth, Donghyuck's name like nectar on his tongue.</p>
<p>Donghyuck could spend the rest of his life like this.</p>
<p>Mark’s mouth is soft and slick, and when he brushes it against the skin of Donghyuck collarbones, it's tender, welcome. Donghyuck doesn’t know how he ended up on the cool pillows, but he doesn’t care about details when Mark is kissing him with this much fervor. He sucks a bruise onto the spot right below Donghyuck’s collarbones; low enough that it’ll be easy to hide.</p>
<p>He trails his teeth over Donghyuck’s neck next, nipping at the skin there and making him gasp. His eyes are dark, but his mouth is careful. Mark returns to his lips after that, kissing him so desperately that the younger boy feels like he’s unraveling at the seams. It dawns on Donghyuck that this is how he imagined it. Mark, on top of him, <i>kissing him like he is oxygen.</i></p>
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<p>When they pull apart, they’re both breathless. Donghyuck can hear his own pulse roaring in his ears; his mouth is a little red and a little tingly. Mark flops down on the pillow beside him and presses the heel of his palm into his eyes. “I’m sorry.” he says. “For what?” Donghyuck asks. He's still hazy from making out, but he sits up to examine Mark’s troubled face. “I was supposed to explain before I—you know.”  he makes a weird gesture with his hands that only serves to confuse Donghyuck further. </p>
<p>“I don’t, actually.”</p>
<p>Mark lets out a deep breath and tries again. “I really like you Donghyuck. Like really, really like you. This is gonna sound weird—but sometimes I look at you and I think—like when I touch you—it feels like i’m swallowing lightning, like I could generate enough power to keep the city running for a thousand years.” Donghyuck takes Mark's hand and presses it to his chest, where his heart is threatening to fly out of his ribcage. “I like you, too.” he says.</p>
<p> Mark gives him a soft grin, curling his fingers over the fabric. “I’m not out to my dad yet.” he says quietly. 

“That’s okay. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you’re not ready for.”

 “I want to, though.” Mark laces their fingers together and holds Donghyuck's hand still between them.</p>
<p> “I want to date you properly. I want to be the one to make you laugh. Want to take you to the movies, and have you over for dinner and kiss you anytime I want.” </p>
<p>"What makes you think I’ll let you keep kissing me?” Donghyuck teases.</p>
<p> “It’s all over your face.” Mark says seriously, and in a smaller voice he goes: “I've never felt this way about anyone before. It’s kinda scaring me.”

Donghyuck has never felt like this either, but whereas he’s ready to step headfirst into the flame, Mark wants to take a step back and examine its composition. He gets that too. They have always been so different, after all. </p>
<p>“No matter what you decide, we’ll be okay. I promise.” Donghyuck reassures him. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to his bottom lip. It's the first time he’s knowingly initiated something between them, and Mark gives in easily, letting his mouth fall open so Donghyuck can kiss him thoroughly. Donghyuck presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth and to his jaw, to the inside of his wrist, and to his fingertips. The gesture makes Mark blush furiously underneath him, and Donghyuck feels warmth spread like molasses across his entire body. </p>
<p>He means it.</p>
<p>For the first time since that kiss in the woods, Donghyuck feels that they truly will be fine, no matter where they end up. </p>
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<p>School starts again in a week or so. Donghyuck isn’t sure. He'd stopped marking off the days on his calendar to make the summer last longer. When they get back, Mark won’t be a cool little neighborhood secret anymore.</p>
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  <i>“You’ll be best friends with the popular kids, I fear.” Donghyuck had told him. “That’s dumb,” Mark had replied. “Social hierarchies are dumb. It's literally just high school.” He’d leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Donghyuck’s nose. “Are you worried you won’t be my favorite anymore? Hm?” <i></i></i>
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<p>It’s already started, with the other boy spending more and more of his time with Jungwoo and his friends, playing basketball until the sun goes down and long past that. Mark is popular with a few of the girls too. Yerim had introduced him to Hyejoo and Mai, with their long flowing hair and wind chime laughter. Donghyuck tries and fails to stop the world moving with his mind. If he had it his way, the sun would never set at all instead of setting slow. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>On the inevitable last day of summer, Donghyuck goes over to bring Mark a fresh batch of matcha brownies. He doesn’t intend to stay long. The plan is to drop off the gift before heading home and starting on the pre-course readings for AP Literature that he had successfully been avoiding all summer. </p>
<p>(So yes, maybe he’d been lying about flunking English last trimester. A little self-depreciation never hurt anybody….probably.) </p>
<p>Much to Donghyuck’s surprise, Mark’s dad answers the door. Mark isn’t home, but his dad invites him inside, asks if he wants tea or lemonade or vodka.</p>
<p> “I’m seventeen.” </p>
<p>“Right. I knew that. I was only joking.”</p>
<p> “Okay.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck picks an iced tea. Mr. Lee goes about preparing it while asking even more questions, like does Donghyuck want one sugar or two and does he know that iced teas didn’t exist until 1904? It’s the charming sort of awkwardness that Mark had so clearly inherited. </p>
<p> After he’s settled the refreshments, Mr. Lee clears his throat and speaks. “So, I know you and Mark are very close.” </p>
<p>Donghyuck feels like he’s being put under a microscope. He answers carefully, not quite sure of where the conversation is going. “I like to think so. In terms of relativity I haven’t really known him that long.” </p>
<p>“Well, I know that he adores you. More than any other friends he’s had in a while.” </p>
<p>It dawns on him then.

 “He told you.” 

“Yes. Not about you per se, but I easily figured that part out on my own. He sat me down a couple of days ago and said that he’d like to marry another boy someday. Maybe not marry, but he said he’d like to kiss one at least. He said something about liking people regardless of gender.”</p>
<p> “Oh.”</p>
<p> <i>Oh.<i> Donghyuck thinks. <i>Mark is so brave<i>. </i></i></i></i></p>
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<p>Mr. Lee keeps stirring the soup on the stove. “I didn’t quite...understand it at first, but all I want is to see him happy, and he seems to be that way quite a lot around you.” </p>
<p>“For what it’s worth, he makes me really happy too.” Donghyuck admits. He doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to say, but it’s the truth. Mr. Lee looks up at him with that lopsided smile. “Remember when I asked you to look out for him?” he asks. </p>
<p>“Of course.” </p>
<p> “I’m still holding you to that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Mark gets home a few minutes later, he is more than surprised to see Donghyuck sitting at the kitchen counter chatting up his dad. He closes the door slowly behind him, eyes nervously darting between them both. </p>
<p>“Am I dreaming? I’m dreaming, right?” he says. He crosses the threshold and takes a seat at the open stool next to Donghyuck. “We were talking about Elizabeth Barrett Browning.” his father replies seriously. Donghyuck had been doing less talking and most of the listening, but he nods eagerly, reveling in Mark’s uncomfortable expression. “Is this gonna become a thing? you hanging out with my dad without me?” Mark pouts. He has his hand on Donghyuck’s knee, and Donghyuck is doing everything he can to stop himself from swaying into him and kissing him silly. </p>
<p>He gets that Mark’s dad is accepting and all, but nobody would appreciate PDA like that. </p>
<p>“I was actually just heading home. I brought you brownies though.” Donghyuck says. He stands up to stretch, and Mark goes with him. “What? No, you can stay. He can stay, right dad?” Mr. Lee hums as he starts getting dishes out of the cupboard. “Mhm. Dinner is almost ready, after all.” Mark turns to him with pleading puppy eyes. He’s never done that before. There really are a lot of sides Mark hasn't shown him yet. He can't wait to know them all.

</p>
<p> “Please Hyuckie,” he’s saying. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” </p>
<p>“Would you like to stay forever?” Mr. Lee chimes in.  </p>
<p>“Dad.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck stays for dinner. </p>
<p>It’s sticky rice and chicken soup and Mark silently holding his hand underneath the dining table. 

</p>
<p>Suddenly, Donghyuck realizes he’s not afraid of the feelings growing in his chest anymore. He looks to Mark and finds him unabashedly beaming at him, and on that last day of summer, Donghyuck's world gets remade again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i feel like this didn't make sense in parts, but i had fun writing it and really wanted to share it anyway &lt;3. as always, i'd love to hear your thoughts + constructive criticism is always welcome.</p>
<p>come find me!<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/jupiterwrites">twitter</a><br/><a href="https://curiouscat.me/jupiterwrites">cc</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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